Breaking Generational Curses: Teenage Pregnancy

Mommy thoughts: “Taking our own advice can be one of the hardest things to do because we’re the only ones that know every part of ourselves. Despite what you believe you’re capable of, just try living out the things you advise others to do!”

Before diving into our break for this month, we’d like to take a moment to thank our very own board member, Destini Williams, who is the author of the entry “Breaking Generational Curses: Teenage Pregnancy.” She is a Dallas based author who has written and published TWO books! More about her can be found on Instagram @screww_you! It has been an honor to partner with Destini & we are so thankful for the time she has dedicated to Mommy’sBreak Inc.

The Break: What were you told as a young girl as it pertains to your sexuality? How were you conditioned to think of motherhood? If it was anything like what I was told or made to feel, then it probably went something like this…everyone around you were obsessed with your virginity.

I can recall countless adults giving me their unsolicited advice on how I shouldn’t get pregnant before a certain time. Better yet exact words would be, “I hope you don’t get pregnant before you graduate high school.” In reflecting I can only ask, what kind of shit is that to say to a child?! Looking back I can also admit that I was a “wild girl” by society’s standards, and even still not as wild as the adults around me may have thought I was. Being that I was one of the last in my friend groups to lose my virginity I could not understand why this was such a huge concern for everyone. Outside looking in, it was like I put some sort of sexual fear into their hearts. My question for them now is, why not approach me differently if in fact that was the case?

After hearing this comment numerous times throughout my teenage years, I eventually began to become conditioned to believe that having a baby was a “bad” thing to do… and that it will hold you back in life. And what makes it crazier is that even at the age of 28, I still struggle with this conditioning of thought. Why did the adults in my life make motherhood seem so disgusting and vile to me? Was it the fact that most of the women who made this comment were single mothers? Did I remind them of themselves in their younger days? Why instead, was I not told that motherhood was a beautiful thing? Why have I rarely heard any good stories about women experiencing great pregnancies and enjoying motherhood while also living fulfilling lives? Why is this not the narrative that I received instead?

Breaking myself from this conditioning of thought has been complicated and quite a journey. I vividly remember speaking with a Black Doula who was the same age as me at the time. She smiled, excited to tell me how much she loved her job, how beautiful pregnancy is, and how life changing the birthing experience truly is. She told me how she got her clients pumped up to bring their new edition(s) home and explained all of the things she did to help prepare her mothers for birth. Having never received such a narrative before, it made me sit and think why motherhood disgusted me so badly. It was then that I realized that I had not been told of the joys, only the struggles. This led to my thinking that this could be a form of generational curses that so many other women/girls suffer from.

We all want and wish to break generational curses that have haunted our families for decades. Have we sat around and thought about how we’ll actually go about breaking these curses? Have we sat and thought about finding the right words to get our messages across to loved ones? Have we even considered that we may be doing more harm than we intend when trying to break those generational curses? Creating curses deeper than the ones we’re trying to prevent. Have we considered how fragile generational curses are? 

Challenging our mommies this month to think about ONE generational curse you’ve identified within your own family. Think about this curse and write out 5 things you’ve done as a mommy to break it! Feel free to share your stories in the comments or on one of our platforms listed below!

Please share in the comments or find me on social media to share your thoughts for a chance to win $10 Amazon gift card! 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/_MsMackkk

Instagram: @_imaniwatson & @mommysbreakinc_

Facebook: https://business.facebook.com/MommysBreakT

Give Yourself Credit

Mommy thoughts: “Allowing yourself time to rest & reset as a mother, should never be optional.”

Before diving into our break for this month, we’d like to take a moment to thank our very first guest blogger Shakiela Hurt, who is the author of the entry “Give Yourself Credit.” She is a Detroit based mommy of 3 who also runs a motherhood & lifestyle blog! More about her can be found on Thekietolife.net! It has been an honor to partner with this mommy & we are so thankful for the time she has dedicated to Mommy’sBreak Inc.

The Break: There’s no secret that as a mommy and especially a mommy of mutiples being “burnt out” happens more times than we’d like to admit. Rather you’re married, single, “entangled,” and/or you have that village that they said it takes;  you still have your days. On those days that I feel like no matter how much I accomplish I haven’t done enough, I learned a secret for y’all. Sometimes you’ll feel like no matter how much rest you got you’re still not rested, and the to do list grows as you scratch things off. When this happens, self love days are your friend. I like to use the phrase, “give credit where it’s due”. Because sis, not to toot my own horn, but I am the Suga. Honey. Iced. Tea! We all are & it’s important that as mothers we give ourselves some credit. I’ve observed that I only feel these “burned out” feelings when I’m not giving myself any credit. I had to teach myself that self love really is the best love. Realizing that it’s okay to have days that you do nothing; nothing days are productive too. It’s okay to eat some of their fruit snacks, afterall you did purchase them! 

As a single mom I don’t have too many days that I feel burned out, but I do have crisis moments. While I suffer from Chronic Depression and Anxiety it makes some things for me a bit more complicated. During these moments I allow myself to feel whatever it is that I’m feeling without guilt. It’s healthy to allow your emotions to flow even if they’re not pleasant or popular. There have been times in those moments that I have thoughts of giving up on everything. And when these moments are over I am glad that I didn’t. I’ve learned not to make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. Even if you have more than one moment a day or more “burned out” days in a week than you feel acceptable don’t forget to give yourself some credit for your good days. The days that you played nanny, nurse, teacher, coach, tutor, etc. The times that you weren’t sure what you were doing or how you were going to do what you needed to but you STILL kept going. These are going to be the most important moments to cling and hold onto.

The greatest gift I can give my children is a healthy mother and that means mentally as well as physical. Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first. You can’t give to others without filling up your cup first. I struggled badly with even buying things for myself without getting them something too. Until one day I was looking for shoes to go with my outfit and I couldn’t find one pair, but they had a pair to match almost every outfit. It was in that moment I said this is getting out of hand. I find that we care more about some things than they do because of our own self guilt. Once I got over my personal guilt, self care and self love days got easier. On the days that you’re not able to do anything but feed everyone, make sure you all are clean, and alive you are still enough. Give yourself some credit. Nobody can give what you give them. If you feel like you have nothing to give, that means your cup is getting empty. 

M.O.M. hold it down!

Please share in the comments or find me on social media to share your thoughts for a chance to win $10 Amazon gift card! 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/_MsMackkk

Instagram: @_imaniwatson & @mommysbreak_

Facebook: https://business.facebook.com/MommysBreakT