Say “Excuse Me!”

The Break:

It really annoys me that I don’t put more energy towards writing for the blog. I think of some of the GREATEST topics and whenever I do write it feels so amazing to be able to share and advise. It’s just like when it comes time for pen to meet paper or fingers to meet keypad, I’m sitting here lost for something more interesting than the basics. I’ll sit here battling my brain because one side is like, tell the mommies that they’re doing a damn good job (because you are) & that its ok to take a break (because it is). Then as I start to write, the other part of my brain is like “booorringggg!” Tell them instead about how ok it is to have kids & feel like you know nothing about parenting. Or how about something deeper…like, how you became a parent before actually liking children. Then there’s the part of the brain that doesn’t agree with either side. Giving me the urge to write about something as simple as attending your child’s sports practices…or no! I have it! Let’s talk about teaching our kids how to be social. That’s a good one. A good one because in the last month I have been tackled by 4-6 year olds, a good one because my child’s teammate didn’t think a slam to my car with another car door warranted an “excuse me” or an apology of any sort. & I mean, his mom sat there equally unresponsive so not much cause for shock, but still. Made me sit there & question, why are we letting kids become what I’d call, socially awkward?

While in the draft of writing this blog, I hear someone say they’re tired of being surrounded by adults who lack basic manors like, “excuse me” and “thank you.” Could it be that it starts with the kids?!

Not knowing me beyond Aiden’s mom shouldn’t have a kid thinking it’s normal or appropriate to approach me and ask for some of what I’m drinking, despite being tired from running lol. I’m still essentially a stranger. I’ve sat at Aiden’s practices & embraced every awkward being encountered, but this definitely made me think further of course. So I already asked the question, why are we allowing kids to become socially awkward? Being sooo far mixed in culture, current, trend, and time, that some of the absolute basics are being forgotten. An “excuse me,” should be known to say universally after something such as a door slam into a strangers car, especially when the stranger is sitting right there. On a similar note, we used to teach kids not to talk to strangers, so at what point did asking for a sip of a strangers drink become normal or ok?

I even then started to reflect on Aiden’s social behaviors. Like let’s talk about him only being six and telling an adult that he doesn’t have to respect them in him & his mommy’s home because he is the man of the house…AWKWARD! & this has been a space I can admit I’ve lacked intention as it relates to teaching. Luckily I have shown him in my actual ways of being, but have I explained to him the importance of respecting boundaries, even of those he considers friends? Or have I told him how inappropriate it is to ask certain questions regardless of how bad he’s itching for answer? I don’t recall the conversations, but it’s definitely a space I’d encourage any parent reading this to explore. Coming from a place completely free of judgment, but with great concern. We have to make sure this new way of life isn’t so consuming that we escape the basics. Let’s be more intentional in what’s considered, “normal” to them socially.

& we can work on this one together mommies, here are six basic reminders:

  • Make eye contact when in conversationThis can be a concept that our kids struggle with because no-one has ever explained the importance of simply looking at someone & being able to make eye contact for connection.
  • Greet those in a room when you enterHow hard is it to really be the first person to speak? This one is very easy to teach because you can not only tell your kid(s), but you can show them. “Hi,” “Hello,” “Goodmorning,” etc. if you enter a room that’s already occupied with others, speak.
  • Exist outside of the internetDon’t have full conversations w/ someone on social media, see them in person, & not say so much as “hello.” It’s just weird.
  • It’s ok to be you, like seriouslySeeing kids get in crowds & start imitating can be a scary thing because just be you. Remind your kids (& self), it shows, badly, when you’re not being true to yourself. It is OKAY if you don’t fit in this conversation, space, or situation.
  • Initiate a conversation, don’t just stare What if you’re missing the opportunity you’ve been looking for, all over fact you won’t simply start a conversation?
  • Say, “Thank you”For everything. That’s it. That’s all.

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