Mommy thoughts: “Taking our own advice can be one of the hardest things to do because we’re the only ones that know every part of ourselves. Despite what you believe you’re capable of, just try living out the things you advise others to do!”
Before diving into our break for this month, we’d like to take a moment to thank our very own board member, Destini Williams, who is the author of the entry “Breaking Generational Curses: Teenage Pregnancy.” She is a Dallas based author who has written and published TWO books! More about her can be found on Instagram @screww_you! It has been an honor to partner with Destini & we are so thankful for the time she has dedicated to Mommy’sBreak Inc.
The Break: What were you told as a young girl as it pertains to your sexuality? How were you conditioned to think of motherhood? If it was anything like what I was told or made to feel, then it probably went something like this…everyone around you were obsessed with your virginity.
I can recall countless adults giving me their unsolicited advice on how I shouldn’t get pregnant before a certain time. Better yet exact words would be, “I hope you don’t get pregnant before you graduate high school.” In reflecting I can only ask, what kind of shit is that to say to a child?! Looking back I can also admit that I was a “wild girl” by society’s standards, and even still not as wild as the adults around me may have thought I was. Being that I was one of the last in my friend groups to lose my virginity I could not understand why this was such a huge concern for everyone. Outside looking in, it was like I put some sort of sexual fear into their hearts. My question for them now is, why not approach me differently if in fact that was the case?
After hearing this comment numerous times throughout my teenage years, I eventually began to become conditioned to believe that having a baby was a “bad” thing to do… and that it will hold you back in life. And what makes it crazier is that even at the age of 28, I still struggle with this conditioning of thought. Why did the adults in my life make motherhood seem so disgusting and vile to me? Was it the fact that most of the women who made this comment were single mothers? Did I remind them of themselves in their younger days? Why instead, was I not told that motherhood was a beautiful thing? Why have I rarely heard any good stories about women experiencing great pregnancies and enjoying motherhood while also living fulfilling lives? Why is this not the narrative that I received instead?
Breaking myself from this conditioning of thought has been complicated and quite a journey. I vividly remember speaking with a Black Doula who was the same age as me at the time. She smiled, excited to tell me how much she loved her job, how beautiful pregnancy is, and how life changing the birthing experience truly is. She told me how she got her clients pumped up to bring their new edition(s) home and explained all of the things she did to help prepare her mothers for birth. Having never received such a narrative before, it made me sit and think why motherhood disgusted me so badly. It was then that I realized that I had not been told of the joys, only the struggles. This led to my thinking that this could be a form of generational curses that so many other women/girls suffer from.
We all want and wish to break generational curses that have haunted our families for decades. Have we sat around and thought about how we’ll actually go about breaking these curses? Have we sat and thought about finding the right words to get our messages across to loved ones? Have we even considered that we may be doing more harm than we intend when trying to break those generational curses? Creating curses deeper than the ones we’re trying to prevent. Have we considered how fragile generational curses are?
Challenging our mommies this month to think about ONE generational curse you’ve identified within your own family. Think about this curse and write out 5 things you’ve done as a mommy to break it! Feel free to share your stories in the comments or on one of our platforms listed below!
Please share in the comments or find me on social media to share your thoughts for a chance to win $10 Amazon gift card!
Instagram: @_imaniwatson & @mommysbreakinc_
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