Mommy thoughts: “How often we go behind our own black curtain definitely matters. After all, you can’t improve the things you aren’t measuring.”
The break: Was laying here trying to force myself to go back to sleep, but couldn’t so I decided to write. Most of the thoughts shared on this blog come from a place that once or currently serve as a struggle in either me or those around me, and our struggles in the parenting journey. It’s not always easy to share thoughts that come from a place of struggle, but I’ve found that sharing mine give me a way to easily acknowledge them. I also notice the more honest I am in acknowledging the struggles, the easier they become to address.
So, I ended up woke at this time of night/morning because Aiden needed to go potty. In putting him back in bed, I thought about how warm my heart felt to be a part of the entire moment. Something as simple as him dragging me out of bed, to me waiting in the hallway half asleep (because God forbid standing in the bathroom and “invading his privacy”), all the way to this exact moment of me putting him back in bed and exchanging “I love yous.” If I had any word to explain how I felt in these moments it’d be, soft. Moments like these are always my favorite because they make me feel so pure in all that I am living for when it comes to being a mother.
In thinking about all of this, it took me to a moment yesterday when his dad referenced me being too aggressive in my interactions with A. I compared the two moments in my head and asked myself what made them different. Why am I so “tough” at times, but in moments like this I’m as gentle as can be. What makes me enjoy taking him to the bathroom in the middle of the night so much but when having to get his seat belt on I somehow end up wanting to snatch his head instead. Maybe it’s because I’m crankier in the evening or maybe yesterday just wasn’t my day, or maybe neither of them are the reasons why. Because in laying here with my own thoughts, it seems like it’s something a little simpler than we can see at times as adults, in general. And it’s as simple as this, parenting should be fun. Parenting is not an actual job.
This may have been referenced in a previous blog, but it feels so evident in this moment. In past moments, it has been easy to live by the statement of “parenting is a full-time job,” but I don’t believe it was ever supposed to be taken literal. When we take the fun out of anything, we ruin it. It’s something we struggle with the older we get, but it’s such an important part to life. If I’m honest, the times that I am the angriest or toughest on Aiden are those moments that I am treating parenting like I’m being paid by the hour. As stated, my favorite moments are when I can be as gentle as possible with him, because those are also moments where I feel the most connected to him. Imagine how easy it becomes to guide your children if you’re deeply connected in all moments. If you’re enjoying all moments, even the tough ones because we already know they’re guaranteed. Think about how much brighter it’d make the journey of parenting, by simply making it fun. Use this time to stop and think about the moments and the reasons that you are the hardest on your own child(ren). Can you relate to it being when you’re treating it like a job? Whether you answered yes or no to the question, I wanted to share some ways in which you could ensure you’re keeping parenting fun, for not just you, but your child(ren) too! Choose to do one or all, just make a choice to do something! Let’s change the narrative because we all know that 85% of us are unhappy in and literally HATE our “jobs.” Why categorize what should be the happiest space of our lives in the same? I included seven ways to make parentings more FUN below:
Start the morning/wake them up dancing & singing their favorite song (Ours is currently The Chicken Wing Song)
Choose something to cook/bake from scratch (Our go to is Saturday morning waffles or pizza any night)
Movie night & snacks (I usually end up sleep, but remember, it’s the attempt that counts!)
Game night (Our interests change weekly, but so far, we’ve held a long-term interest in puzzles)
Make dinner a game of “Restaurant.” Create fake $$ for child(ren) to pay, create a menu, & serve as the waitress! (Works better when you have multiple children to play with)
DIY art project (We love to paint)
Join their world for a day! (Do this with a judgement/boss free mind. For a full day bring yourself to your child’s world by doing things like playing with them and their toys, ask about their happiness, watch their favorite YouTube videos, find out what their goals are, do something they want to do, etc. Just release all your responsibility as a parent on this day, regardless of your child’s age, YOU WILL BE AMAZED)
No matter if you decide to do just one, two, or even if you find ways to make fun outside of this list…just remember when doing any of them, the why behind it. Make it fun, allow it to be fun, and create new habits out of them! The goal is to strengthen ourselves as parents and we can’t forget that in the simple moments!
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